When I left treatment at castle Craig hospital in Scotland UK on December 18th 2017, my alcoholism was under control but my health both mental and physical were far from healed. I went to stay with my mother who tried her upmost to support me and help heal me but I was still so broken it seemed hopeless.
I was so consumed with grief it was eating away at me 24/7, I had not smiled since Lee died and could not even find it within me to try and find a way out of the darkness that was my world now.
I flew out to Australia mid-February to spend time with my sister and nephews to see if that would help me. I loved being with them but the darkness remained I literally could not find the light anymore. I was medicated at the top dose with anti-depressants and was a suicide risk although then I would never have had admitted that. My anxiety was such that I was unable to do simple everyday things like shopping or driving alone, it had put a halt to any independence as I always needed someone to do things with me. The fear of meeting new people petrified me so I would avoid it at all costs.
I would go off to my safe place, the room I was staying in at my sisters so I could cry and wish I would be taken to be with Lee once again, consumed with guilt for still being here and him not overwhelmed me every minute of every waking hour.

I decided I would try to find a place to be around horses as mine had saved me from myself I thought maybe just maybe this may help. I was given a name of a few in Perth areas even though I was 2 1/2 hours away from Perth.
I found one tried to call and they never got back to me so disheartened I left it for a while, thinking I was unworthy as they never called me back. Then one afternoon I thought I would message one of the others and almost immediately I heard back from a lady called Karen White. I explained I suffered with anxiety not going into too much detail at this point and she said come down we would love to meet you. I felt reassured.

Well what can I say, to put into words how much Mohegan has changed my life is such a hard thing to do as it has not only improved my life in so many ways, it has given my family peace of mind that their ‘little sister and daughter’ is actually getting better.
From the first day I arrived there I overcame the impossible for me, I spoke to people I did not know and they were nice, so nice. I was not judged here I felt part of a caring, loving environment. Karen and the horses just accepted me for me. The horses are completely amazing, kind and understanding of your needs and Karen has helped me start to really overcome my anxiety and depression.
I have been going now for 3 months normally every 2 weeks. In this time I no longer take anti-depressants. I can now live independently, I go places, shopping, hairdressers all the everyday things many of us take for granted to be able to do. I have brought a car and drive it, found a place to live and am going to study out here in Australia for 18 months. The most astonishing thing of all is I am able to smile again and feel a sense of happiness again.
I 100% would not have been able to accomplish any of this if I would not have found Mohegan training centre, it has saved me from my darkness that many other services were unable to do. Mohegan is now a part of my life and it always will be as it found me when I was unable to find myself.

Thank you Karen White & Mohegan Healing with the Herd